Showing posts with label Who I Am. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Who I Am. Show all posts

Where I Came From


It's important to remember where you come from. The above picture is what made me who I am today. When I was ten, I was in a car accident. We were on our way home to Iowa from vacation in Oklahoma, visiting my Aunt and Uncle. My step-dad's boss told him he needed to either be back the following day or find a new job. My parents had taken turns driving, but my mom handled most of it due to my dad needing to be "work ready".  We made it to Kansas, at sometime after six in the morning, and my mom fell asleep after driving all night. We crossed a bridge, and she started driving toward the outside edge. My step-dad woke up and swerved the wheel toward the middle railing. My memory of the many retellings is a bit fuzzy at this point, but basically the van ran into a guard rail which sliced through the right side of the vehicle. On the left side of the van sat my mom, six-month-old sister, and four-year-old brother. On the right, my step-dad, grandma, and I. Nobody on the left side of the vehicle was harmed physically, however my brother soon after talked to my grandma about the desire to become superman and lift the rubble off me and I'm sure in deeper talks you could find he was more deeply affected than that.

My mother still feels a plethora of emotions based on that day. It's hard to tell what she's thinking, but the main two I've seen are guilt, and gratefulness. This is understandable, but wholly unnecessary. The day the accident happened, is the day I began my unending journey to being the best I can be. Everyday is another step, sometimes forwards and sometimes backwards, but whichever direction I go I know it's what I need in the long run. My journey began when I was told I wouldn't be able to walk again, and I decided that I would. After months of therapy, and years of practice, I returned to a normal life free of crutches and stair-climbers. I blossomed, and participated in cheerleading, and school plays, and even tennis. Despite my moanings soon after the wreck that nobody would love me because of how my leg looked, I fell "in love" time and time again, and actually just got married.

I promise myself everyday now that this is the body I have, and I need to love it. As long as I'm eating well and exercising, then this is the best I can be. I didn't used to feel this way, in my past I've battled with various eating disorders and compulsions, but I still remember the first body-promise I made to myself. After the accident I promised myself I was never allowed to dislike my legs, because I should be lucky to have them at all. I've never once broken this promise. I could spend all day listing the imperfections in my body, but my legs would never be mentioned. Why? Firstly, ten-year-old me was right. I am lucky to still have my legs. Yes, my condition has impaired me in more than one way. I spent a year and a half battling a bone infection, which resulted in my pinkie toe being amputated. I have severe mobility issues which affect my ability to exercise. My severed nerve causes spazms frequently, and I have to wear a brace which does not allow for much choice in foot wear. All that being said, I can still go on a walk with my husband, chase my son around the park, and dance with my daughter. Even more than that, the accident provided me with strength and endurance. I've had a lot of rough patches in my life, but because of going through my recovery I have an ingrained understanding of the phrase "this too, shall pass." It also led me to the belief that beauty has broader definitions than "tall, thin, and tan".

My scar my not be what I came into the world with, but it will definitely be there when I leave. Honestly, I don't want it to go. It's a constant reminder that I am different, and because of that I am strong. The pain I went through because of the accident motivated me to push through my daughter's birth as I repeated to myself "Hey you, we've been through worse." I try my hardest to apply how I feel about my leg to how I feel about the rest of me. Sometimes it doesn't work, but usually it does. My hair will always be frizzy, but it will also always be mine. As will my butt, and back, and stomach and arms, so why not roll with it. Not everyone agrees with this, but once everyone else has to wear my skin then I'll start counting their votes. You are you. Be beautiful, however you need to be, and rock what you got!

Who I Will Become

I made a list today of what words I would use to describe my ideal self, and I wanted to share them with you. I'm going to fit all these words by the end of this year, and hopefully before then. The only person that can make me a better person is me, I know that now and I'm on my way to doing that. So here is the real me, the hidden me, the me that's going to shine out from the darkness and rise from the ashes.

-Athletic (Runner, biker, yogi)
-Healthy food eater
-Voluptuous, not obese
-Organized
-A great mom
-Clean
-Fashionably dressed
-Educated
-Responsible

That is my list, and that is who I will become.

Big Words

There are a lot of big words for big girls. There are a million ways to describe us. Chunky, curvy, buxom, rubenesque, voluptuous, plus sized, big...and then there's fat. Fat is such an ugly word. What I have on my stomach? THAT is fat. Fat is what's on my arms, and my thighs, and my butt, and on the same places on every other normal person in this world. I might have a little more than other people, but I still get called beautiful. It might be in different places than it is on others, but that doesn't stop my fiance from loving me.

I've been called fat before, and it used to hurt, but I've realized something. I am not fat, the stored calories in my body are. I am not fat. I am Andrea. It's time for me, and everyone else who's felt this way, to realize that and start to live like themselves, not how other people tell them they look. C.S. Lewis said "You don't have a soul. You have a body. You are a soul." and I entirely agree with this.

I want to be defined by my mind, my words, how I treat others, and how I treat myself, not by the shape of my body. Yes, I am "curvy", but I'm also intelligent, caring, a great mother, sister, and friend, and an entire plethora of other word. Most of all, I am Andrea, and I'm opening my eyes every morning so proud to be who I am.